Following my bliss...

Holiday Cheer.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with good food, good company, abundant laughter and plenty of love to go around. I always love the winter holiday season. It always brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart. There is something about seeing all the beautiful decorations around the city I love, witnessing the kindness people show one another, hearing the Christmas songs, and drinking in all of the hot cocoa and love to my heart’s content. I feel hopeful. I feel rejuvenated. I feel inspired, once more. What a great gift. Speaking of feeling inspired, here are a few of the things that have touched me, made me smile, or inspired me in one way or another. Enjoy!

1) Where the Wild Things Are Mural - created by a talented mural artist called Rosyln - Simply put, AMAZING.

2) Jasmine Star’s Photography and Blog - The woman is super talented (just look at her photos!) and she has this effortless quality to her writing. Color me addicted.

http://www.jasminestarblog.com/

3) Smitten Kitchen - A foodie’s dream come true. I seriously drool over pretty much everything here. Here are some of my faves:

Cappucino Fudge Cheesecake. Pure decadence.

Sun-Dried Tomato Stuffed Mushrooms - Need I say more?

Zucchini Latkes - I can almost feel them melting into my mouth.

Lobster Rolls - Orgasmic

Fig and Walnut Biscotti - I’ll start drinking coffee just for this.

Arugula Ravioli - Ravioli done right.

Would have included the pics but was having technical difficulties so check it out at: http://smittenkitchen.com/

IT WILL ROCK YOUR WORLD.

4) Days With My Father - A son’s tribute to his father. It is so touching. Makes you think about the brevity of time and want to cherish the time you have with your loved ones.

http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/

5) MyLifeIsAverage - is anything but average. It’s a quick pick me upper that is guaranteed to make you smile

http://mylifeisaverage.com/

6) Pandora - it’s been getting me through all this writing. Currently on rotation - a jazz & blues mix with some mellow rainy day songs added for kicks.

Louis Armstrong - “La Vie en Rose”

Billie Holiday - “Come Rain or Come Shine”

Ella Fitzgerald - “Stormy Weather”

Norah Jones - “Back to Manhattan”

Damien Rice - “Older Chests”

Jeff Buckley - “Hallelujah”

Nick Drake - “Saturday Sun”

John Legend - “Sun Comes Up”

John Mayer - “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room” (acoustic version)

Madeleine Peyroux - “J’ai Deux Amours”

Missy Higgins - “Night Minds”

Sara Bareilles - “Gravity”

7) Etsy - a gathering of artists creating, sharing, and inspiring

http://www.etsy.com/

Hold up...Wait a minute...

This isn’t addressed to anyone in particular but it’s just something that I thought about today…

Is it just me or is everyone hella rushed all the time? Where are you going? What are you doing? Why are you always in a rush? So many people seem to have this fixed notion of time and they live as if it rules their life. Days, weeks, months…it’s all planned out. I know I’m guilty of this sometimes but I’ve been trying to free myself from time’s shackles. Particularly in America, I feel like we are slaves to time. We clock in and clock out and our lives are characterized by routine and defined by the minutes on the clock’s hand. There are always exceptions but it really seems as though this is ingrained in American culture. I think it’s closely related to our need for convenience and the value we place on efficiency. Just look around. We have drive thrus for everything…food, coffee, atms, car washs, etc. I wouldn’t be surprised if I came across a drive thru mall. Whatever happened to walking to places? We use technology to save time (isn’t it just so much easier to text someone then pick up the phone to say hello?). But I think we’re losing out here. It’s like we’ve created a drive thru  for human relationships…I miss those days when people made time for each other. When people and their relationships were more important than getting to a meeting on time or squeezing in that grocery run.  I want to take it back to a time when we walked to our neighbor’s house to invite them over for dinner…or we spent a few hours on the phone with our best friend just because…ugh, I don’t know where I’m trying to go with this but I guess that I’m trying to say that I miss how things used to be done. People stopped to smell the roses, to savor the sunshine and they smiled at strangers….I miss that world….

Twentysomething Wisdom...

The past two weeks, I have blogged about the rite of passage for today’s twenty something woman (part one and part two). Below are ten brief tips to keep in mind during this time of transformation or really any stage of life as we are all consistently presented with unique challenges and changes:

1. Be present. This is a tough one because we spend so much time in our twenties obsessing about what we will be and who we will be with. Take the time to just be. Living mentally in the future constantly only creates anxiety. Yes, set goals and consider your future while committing to action steps that are attainable and realistic. And then just accept where you are. Trying to figure it all out is fruitless and robs you of the present moment.

2. Stop comparing. Don’t look at everyone else around you to determine your worth. There will always be someone more successful, richer, prettier, wittier, thinner, and so on. Who cares what your friends are doing? Focus on what you want and be grateful for what you already have. Find individuals who inspire you rather than people you attempt to measure up to. We are all on different paths, carve your own.

3. Stop caring about what other people think. Other people’s opinion of you or your choices is just that - an opinion, not the truth. It’s your life so get in the habit now of living it on your terms. Don’t let your fear of someone else’s reaction stand in the way of your dreams. Be kind, but be you. And most importantly, don’t personalize things. Often people give us feedback that is a bit rough around the edges. You can still hear the feedback if it is relevant, truthful or helpful without getting hurt.

4. Tune in. We all have intuition; we just do not always know how to access it or want to listen to it. Pay attention to your gut feelings. The more you listen to your intuition, the louder and more accessible it will become. And you can’t hear your inner voice when you are only listening to the voices of others.

5. Don’t wait for permission, approval or validation. Many of today’s twenty-somethings grew up with over-involved parents who guided their path and patted them on the back along the way. Now it’s time to be your own head cheerleader.

6. Make choices. Today’s twenty-something has an upscale problem: an abundance of choices which often leads to making no choice at all. If decision making is a weak skill, find ways to build your decision making muscle. Resist the urge to call your friends and parents when faced with a decision. Make little choices each day on your own, without consulting anyone else (unless of course your choice directly affects another or others).

7. Make mistakes. Perceived failure is often how we learn the most. I have learned more from my mistakes/failures than any of my accomplishments. Mistakes are often the catalyst to accomplishments. Playing it safe only keeps you comfortable and it is only when we are forced to push beyond our safety zone that we discover our potential.

8. Do things alone. Young people often like to travel in packs or yearn for a permanent “plus one.” Learn to be your own companion first. Be single for an extended period of time. Go to a movie alone. Go to dinner alone. Or best yet, travel alone. Be open to discovery.

9. Build your tribe. All of us need a tribe that extends beyond our family and consists of both peers and elders. Cultivate your personal and professional relationships by networking, seeking out mentors, and calling upon the wisdom of older generations. Ask questions to the people who have “been there, done that” and listen carefully to their answers. And ask for help or support when you need it. Yes, independence is important but needs to be balanced by interdependence and connection. And by connection I mean live, face-to-face interaction. Facebook will not nourish your soul.

10. Be of service. Don’t just be part of a tribe, contribute. Many people comment that self-reflection and introspection is or feels selfish. Well it is if that is all you do. As you are in this phase of life when you are learning more about who you are and what you want, make the time to give to others. Not only will it get you out of your own head, but when we step into the attitude of service, we uncover amazing and untapped qualities. It is in the act of giving that we receive the most.

And if I were to give one overarching tip it would be to enjoy the learning process that is part of any transformation. And life is a series of transformation. Change is inevitable. Careers, relationships, money, houses, good times and bad times will come and go. But we have the choice in how we respond to all of those things. As Victor Frankl says in Man’s Search for Meaning, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” And when you are free, you can fly.

Words of Wisdom

My best friend sent me this via email today. I really enjoyed it and I hope you do to.

Stress

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked
‘How heavy is this glass of water?’

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.’

He continued,

‘And that’s the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won’t be able to carry on.
As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.’

‘So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don’t carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you’re carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.’

So, my friend put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don’t pick it up again until after you’ve rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:


* Accept that some days you’re the pigeon,
And some days you’re the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.

* Always  wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be
“Recalled” by their maker.

* If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can’t dance well.
Just get up and dance.

* Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything’s coming your way,
You’re in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons… Some are sharp, some are pretty and some
are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all
have to live in the same box.

* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.   

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today

…I did.

Inspired...

A few months ago, I read a story that I wrote to my students. Afterwards, one of my students hugged me and told me that I inspired her to write her own stories…and she did. Her writing has evolved continuously and beautifully. It’s been amazing to witness. She told me that I inspire her, but the truth is that my students inspire me.

As the school year comes to a close, it inevitably brings about some reflections. Here are a few of the things that stood out for me:

1.      - Love unconditionally and show the people you love that you love them. My kids are so full of pure, unconditional love and they know how to show it. They are unabashedly affectionate and their love does not have strings attached. It is pure adoration. Alongside the daily “I love you”s, they write me letters, draw me pictures and lavish me with the best hugs. Some adults could really learn a thing or two from these kiddos…

2.       - Laughter is essential. My kids make me laugh every day and they have reminded me not to take life too seriously. I mean, let’s face it. Being a “grown up” sucks sometimes. All the responsibilities, obligations and our own fucked up baggage. Lighten up. Laughter alleviates stress, helps heal wounds and brings more joy to everyday life.

3.       - Don’t be so hard on yourself. Some of my kids are SO HARD on themselves. They’re not smart enough, funny enough, pretty enough, talented enough…just not good enough. It saddens me that we live in a world where five and six year olds can have this negative self-concept and low sense of self-worth. We should all give ourselves a pat on the back from time to time and shake all that negativity off.

4.       - Patience can be learned. I have never been particularly patient but my kids have taught me how to be patient in a way I never thought possible. Trust me when I say that working with children requires a WHOLE LOTTA patience!

5.       - Don’t forget to dream and be amazed by the world. My kids have big dreams and a beautiful sense of wonderment and curiosity about the world around them. Like little sponges, they soak EVERYTHING up. It’s truly refreshing. Sometimes I think that growing up is synonymous with killing our dreams but it doesn’t have to be that way. My students have reminded me of some of my own dreams and they remind me to “smell the roses”, so to speak.

Thank you, Super Golden Tigers, for the beautiful memories, abundant laughter and all of your love. I will miss you dearly as I move onto the next adventure. When I finally get around to publishing that children’s book, I know who to dedicate it to!

*Edit

So on the way to dinner with my roomie, we were talking about our pet peeves and I realized that my last rant did not include “sick people” etiquette.

Things to do if you are sick:

1. Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough. It’s all in the ELBOW, not the hand. If you sneeze or cough into your hand and touch someone else, you just gave them your germs. Stop being an asshole and use the elbow move.

2. Please refrain from coughing/sneezing freely into the air then laughing about it. It’s not funnny. You don’t see me laughing…probably because I feel like kicking your ass.

3. If you have a snot river flowing freely, use tissues and then use hand sanitizer. Don’t use your hands or your clothes.

4. Don’t share food/drinks with people that are not sick. Everyone’s been sick before and I think we can all agree that it sucks ass so please do us a favor and keep your germs to yourself, selfish skank.